My Helpful & Loving Antagonist
Me and Husband and Wedding Season 2023
Good Morning Friends,
Does anybody else suddenly find themselves in wedding season? It seems for so many people that this end of September / early October is the new “it” time to get married. So in the last two weeks husband and I have traipsed to the far corners of the world to three different weddings. Some casual some fancy, all fun!
Weddings can help us recenter our beliefs and focus on our own marriages. That and being stuck with husband in our rocket ship as we zoomed across the country for a total of 65 hours on the road over the course of ten days. Nothing like an insane road trip to cement the bonds of marriage to your lover (or conversely frazzle you to tears because he sighed loudly and then growled when you asked what was wrong!) I digress.
Who you marry has a huge impact on your life, who you become, where your future will go - and I’m constantly amazed at how blessed I am to have my husband in my life.
Way back when I turned 29, I was feeling old (in the way you can only feel when you’re 29). I knew I wanted to have a family and was hot on the trail of finding a husband. So I started looking like it was a job hunt. It was an educational process because I started to learn what qualities were most important and in the process I made many other friends some who are still close to our family to this day! (Hello!)
If you know me, you know that I’m a kind of a theology nerd and in that vein I put on my dating profile that I enjoyed talking about “Why Jesus had to die”. One of my guy friends at the time was shocked when I had him look at my profile, “I thought you wanted a boyfriend!” He said, “You’ll scare off everyone with that line for sure!” Of course dating is just as much about who you repel as who you attract, and perhaps it was that line that kept my experience so good.
After four long years of dating, I got a note from a guy who said, “I’m curious about your thoughts on why Jesus had to die and I’d love to hear more.” I was tired, and even though nobody had EVER asked or even mentioned that “offending” line, I was almost out of steam for the whole shebang. If you’ve ever dated or tried to date you know it’s emotionally draining.
But this guy didn’t seem deterred by my lackadaisical replies and I agreed to go to dinner with him if he was willing to drive up from wherever he lived. “I’ll be there!” He said!
Another friend upon hearing that he drove three hours just for a dinner said, “I would never do that for a girl! And everybody know you don’t take someone to dinner on a first date!” But of all the things I love about husband, I love his bravery and his kindness probably best of all.
We had a great date, and talked about all things theology - by which he was quite intrigued. I found him kind and fun so three months later we got married. (As ya do.)
Husband is actually a big part of why I started seminary and became a pastor, “You love all this stuff so much, why wouldn’t you? Why not formalize your ministry so people know where to find you!”
He’s so wonderful, and I feel so fortunate to have finally found my life partner; to have built a family and a household and a community where we’re a beautiful team.
The Hebrew word that God uses to describe Eve, ‘ezer is often translated as “helper” in English, which we often have understood as “assistant” on the best end and “servant” on the worst end.
But it’s also the same word in this verse: “Israel, trust in the Lord he is the one who HELPS you and protects you.” (Psalm 115:9)
Is God our assistant, slave, servant? No, his help is different. It is pushing and pulling and strong. Marriage is about God bringing two opposites together to push each side forward into the best version of themselves and the future. Marriage is holding the hand that will haul you out of the ditch - sometimes it’ll be me in the ditch sometimes it’ll be husband. Together we’ll help each other in strong push and pull ways.
A wedding marks the start of a long journey, and I’m thrilled to be seven years down the road! It hasn’t always been easy, but things that are truly worth it, are usually about investment, energy and time commitments.
God has surely brought us together to shape our lives and grow more towards him every day.
Wishing you peace and love,
Sierra